So this happened the other day

i was in 6th period when this girl comes up to the front of the class and i hear a loud SIIIIGH from this frumpy girl at the back of the class and then the girl at the front starts talking and she comes out to us all as a lesbian but before she could finish the frumpy girl yells out NO ONE FUCKING CARES! SHUT UR DYKE MOUTH and the whole room is silent and i’m in awe and i stand up and point at the frupy girl and say DYKE!? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU YOU BIGOT and the whole class begins clapping and the girl runs from the front of the class and hugs me and her and i are dating now

OMG GUYS MY 80 YEAR OLD CONSERVATIVE [family member] LITERALLY [did something politically progressive] AND S/HE SAID S/HE HAD THE TIME OF HER/HIS LIFE AND S/HE SAID THAT I WAS ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY GENDER AND S/HE SAID THAT BEING GAY IS TOTALLY COOL AND PROGRESSIVE S/HE GAVE ME A PACKET OF CONDOMS AND $100 IM LITERALLY DYING CALL THE AMBULANCE

f-o-o-d-p-o-r-n:

Deep-Dish Chocolate Chip Cookie for One

 Ingredients (1 serving):

1 Tbsp unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/2 Tbsp unrefined granulated sugar, such as evaporated cane juice

1/2 Tbsp packed light brown sugar

1 Tbsp beaten egg, preferably organic (cover & chill remaining beaten egg for tomorrow’s cookie cup… you will be making another one!)

tiny splash pure vanilla extract

2 1/2 Tbsp whole wheat pastry flour (can substitute with 3:1 of cake flour and all purpose flour)

1/8 tsp baking soda

tiny pinch salt

heaping 1 Tbsp grain-sweetened chocolate chips, such as Sunspire

Instructions

In a small ramekin or microwavable cup, combine softened butter and both sugars; stir well with a spoon. Stir in beaten egg and vanilla extract. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt just until combined. Stir in chocolate chips.

Microwave on high for 35-40 seconds. Let cookie rest at room temperature for about 10 seconds before devouring.

Nutritional Information:

253.2 calories, 13.8 grams fat, 8.4 grams saturated fat, 2.9 grams fiber, 17.5 grams sugars, 2.4 grams protein

Why do I do this?

Why do I do this?

This took too long to make.

This took too long to make.

thedavesofourlives:

thesparkofourlives:

thedavesofourlives:

lostforasecond:

thedavesofourlives:

DONT EVER TRY TO ERASE WITH SMENCIL ERASERS WHAT THE FUCK

number 2 is wrong it should be 1/r

shit son you’re right

i guess you’re gonna have to erase that

FUCK

Has no one noticed how one of the guys has nearly the exact same username as the OP?

thedavesofourlives:

thesparkofourlives:

thedavesofourlives:

lostforasecond:

thedavesofourlives:

DONT EVER TRY TO ERASE WITH SMENCIL ERASERS WHAT THE FUCK

number 2 is wrong it should be 1/r

shit son you’re right

i guess you’re gonna have to erase that

FUCK

Has no one noticed how one of the guys has nearly the exact same username as the OP?

(via sociallyawkwardpterodactyl)

For anyone who needs a scared Zac Efron on their dash.

For anyone who needs a scared Zac Efron on their dash.

I’m not totally sure, but I think Joel is crazy. Just a hunch.

I’m not totally sure, but I think Joel is crazy. Just a hunch.

brothasoul:

is this supposed to make him look bad or something

the second gif happened at 4am

i would say the same thing to someone camping outside my house at 4am pointing a video camera at me

(via themrcreepypasta)